Recognising domestic abuse and getting help

Being young can be the best time of your life. But growing up can be difficult if you’re treated badly by your partner or if you live in a home where there is domestic abuse.

The below gives some information on domestic abuse and where you can go to get help.

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse happens between people aged 16 or over and their partners or their family members. However domestic abuse can also happen if you are under the age of 16 with your partner and it is good to know what signs might indicate you or someone else is experiencing domestic abuse.

Domestic abuse is not just a one off incident. It is a pattern of behaviour and it can involve attempts to control and coerce . It can include physical, emotional, psychological, economic and sexual abuse. It is not your fault and it is not ok.

Physical abuse

Physical abuse is when someone physically hurts you. Some examples include hitting, punching, nipping, spitting, burning, strangling and kicking.

Sexual abuse

Sexual abuse is when someone makes you do something sexually you don’t want to do. Some examples include making you have sex or perform sexual acts when you don’t want to or you aren’t old enough. Making you watch sexual acts. Filming you doing something sexual and threatening to share that with other people. Sharing intimate photographs of you with others.

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse is when someone makes you feel bad about yourself. Some examples include calling you names, putting you down, criticising the way you do things or the way you look.

Psychological abuse

Psychological abuse is when someone makes you doubt yourself. Some examples include saying you’re mad or crazy, saying you’re too sensitive and can’t take a joke, saying they didn’t say something when you know that they did.

Economic abuse

Economic abuse is when someone restricts your access to money. Some examples include making you pay for everything, making you give them money all the time, not letting you have any money, not letting you spend any money on yourself, making you borrow money for them.

Coercive control

Coercive control is when someone tries to control what you do using fear. Some examples include telling you what to wear, who you can spend time with, how to cook or clean, where you can work, if you can work. They might threaten to hurt you if you don’t do what they want or they might make it clear they are unhappy with you by not talking to you or making it feel awkward or uncomfortable to be around them. 

 

If you see something say something

Sometimes when people are experiencing domestic abuse they find it hard to talk about. Sometimes they don’t know they are experiencing domestic abuse. If you think you are experiencing domestic abuse yourself or you are worried about someone you know or someone in your family you can talk to an adult you trust.

What to do?

If you are in immediate danger call 999

Try not to be alone with the person that is hurting you

Tell an adult you trust and keep telling them until you get the help you need

You can also speak to:

  • Doncaster Children’s Services Trust on 01302 734100 between 8:30am and 5pm, Monday to Friday. Outside of these hours call the Trust on 01302 796000.
  • Doncaster Domestic Abuse Hub on 01302 737080. You can find out more about the work of Doncaster Domestic Abuse Hub on the council's website here.
  • NSPCC helpline for advice on 0808 800 5000 or text 88858 You can read more about the support available through the NSPCC website here https://www.nspcc.org.uk/ 
  • ChildLine on 0800 1111. ChildLine provides free confidential advice and support for all young people up to 19 years old. You can find out more about their work on their website https://www.childline.org.uk/

If you suspect your own behaviour is abusive you can get help too:

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