Teen to parent abuse

Our Getting On Programme offers support for Doncaster families who are suffering from ‘teen to parent abuse’.

The issue of ‘teen to parent’ abuse is very difficult for parents to address for many reasons, despite the trauma it causes to everyone in the home.

Parents suffering from abuse by their children can feel shame and blame, as well as fear of the consequences for their child if they report it. There are many complex reasons behind the behaviour – not least of which is the difficult process of growing up.

Our Getting On Programme offers tailored package of support for teens and their female parent/ carer. Families are supported to work through the issues and recognise the root cause of the anger and to give both parents and children the management strategies so they can move on together.

Spotting the signs

It is normal during the teenage years for children to want to challenge their parents and authority; it is all part of them heading towards an independent life.

Teenagers will exhibit healthy anger and conflict along the way. Violence is not the same as anger. Anger is an emotion; violence is about a control and power.

Teen to parent violence is used in the family to control, dominate, threaten or coerce a parent(s) or sibling(s). It can include any of the following:

Physical

  • spitting, shoving, hitting, kicking
  • throwing things, breaking things and punching holes in the walls or doors
  • bullying or physical violence to siblings
  • cruelty to pets
  • any actions or behaviour that threatens a person’s sense of well-being and safety

Emotional, psychological and verbal

  • verbal abuse, yelling screaming, swearing, ‘put downs’ and humiliation
  • verbal intimidation
  • emotional and psychological intimidation
  • playing mind games
  • making threats to hurt or kill themselves or run away, in order to get their own way or control you and the family

Financial

  • demanding money or things you cannot afford
  • stealing money or possessions from you, your family or friends
  • incurring debts that you are responsible for
Who is the programme for?

Our Getting On Programme is open to families living in Doncaster. Working with mums/ female carers and their children, aged 11 to 15 years.

How does the course work?

The Getting On Programme is a group session that runs for 9 weeks.

Every week mum/ female carer and their teen are invited to come along to a separate group session lasting around 2 ½ hours. Both the Mums' group and the Teens' group take place in the same building at the same time. The content for both groups is mirrored so both mum and their teen can learn similar things at the same time.

Success is very much a personal for each family. The course does not ‘fix’ everything in one go, it is very much an ongoing journey.

What others say about the course? 

One 13-year-old boy who attended the Getting On programme last year after being abusive towards his mother, said: I have changed my relationship with my Mum and with others, like teachers. I still need to work on my anger but I’m calmer now and I’ve got better with my sister.”

A parent who completed the course said: “I would advise anyone who needed support to come on this programme, I am still in contact with the other parents, and we still support each other”

How can I get on the course?

If you live in Doncaster and are interested in finding out more about the course please contact our Early Hub Team by calling 01302 734110.

The team will talk with you about your situation and will be able to give advice on the best support available to you and your family.

Further advice and support

You can find further information and advice at https://holesinthewall.co.uk/

 

“Volunteers are the best. People don’t understand or realise how much time and effort it takes to make their young person feel safe and trust them.”

Care leaver

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